OUT WITH THE NEW AND BACK TO THE OLD

So my mother and I were talking the other day about life in general. Now my mother and I have one of those rare mother-daughter relationships were we share anything and everything- and I do mean anything. So this day we were gossiping about one of her friends who had problems with her husband. Somehow though we shifted base to another really interesting topic which piqued my interest and I thought to share and as usual ask my questions.
Now this friend of my mothers had a family friend staying over in her house. The girl whose name would remain unspoken, just finished from the University. Normally, for someone staying in another person’s house, it is expected of her to at least take some chores in the house upon herself. However, this girl does absolutely nothing in the house. Her basic daily routine is to wake up, stay in bed for another hour using her blackberry. Then she dresses up beautifully, eats food that has been made by the woman and goes out. Fed up with the girl’s behaviour, the woman came complaining to my mother. And in usual motherly fashion, the talk of how girls of nowadays behave began. Soon enough, my mother went from gossip to the “mother-daughter” talk of how to behave in your husband’s house.
This talk was different as it was not particularly a lecture. She however raised some really disturbing questions in my head. Is our generation really in trouble? Are the women being raised now more superficial than ever? Would this become problems for us in the future and even more so what would happen to our children if we do not possess the proper morals with which to train them? The scary thing is that while our mothers may be seen as nags and as much as they bug us now, they are actually very correct.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that all girls of our generation are not domesticated. But the rate at which the number of girls that are quite useless at the home front increases is ALARMING. And its not just being a good cook or being good at washing and cleaning, even though that is all part of it, but it also includes the little things that make us African and good mothers and wives. It is just hard to find a woman who is the total embodiment of a good African woman, mother and wife. You know how your mother can make your father do something he did not want to? How you ran to mummy to ask daddy for money or if you could go out because you know he would not ordinarily give in? Or how it was only your mother that could calm your father down when he was angry at you? Or even some odd things like lying for him? Did you ever wonder how your mother could be so calm when your father is acting so irrational? Or how she could entertain so many impromptu guests?
Are we slowly loosing our femininity in the fight for feminism? Has the Western life taken away our ability to pay attention to details and keep a home? In the conscious effort to look good for our husbands and boyfriends, have we unconsciously ignored them and allowed for their roaming eyes. In the search for equality, have we lost the essence of womanhood and “Africanness” in us? It seems as technology improves, we slowly loose the abilities our mothers possess. For example, how many girls of nowadays can make pounded yam? I do not mean poundo yam. Or how many can grind pepper using the traditional stone?
I have nothing against Westernization or civilization. It has definitely made our lives easier. But then is civilization taking just as much from our original persons as it is improving our daily lives? And why is it that as much as we women change down generations, the men still have the same attributes? In fact all civilization has done is sharpen their skills in cheating. Now we have the Blackberries and Iphones that allow your man flirt and chat with other girls while sitting right next to you or laying beside you.
As always, I just want you to take a moment and think. What will become of us women?