View From Another Angle

So out of sheer joblessness and boredom, I began to take these quizzes that are never ending. Asides from being jobless and bored, I actually have an ulterior motive as to why I do take these tests. To put it simply, I just really want to know who I am, or at least what I am capable of.

Now I know there are some questions that only you can answer but do you ever just feel that you need a soothsayer to explain who you are and what your purpose in life is? I mean someone who just gets it right and tells you things that others and not even yourself would see. Parents would tell you how great you will become because let's face it, no parent wants to admit to their child that they just might not make it. (except of course when at the age of 25 you are still a couch potato, then they would scream about how you either need to get married or get a job). Truth is, parents never just get it.

Anyways, moving right along... Pastors tell you that your purpose in life is to serve God and win souls. And even after all this, you still feel like there is more you need to do with your life. I mean even the Bible says every man has a gift. But who exactly are you? how do people regard you? what would be said to be your strongest asset and best feature? To answer these questions, I often take these random quizzes and view horoscopes.

Amongst one of these many RANDOM quizzes was one which struck me as odd. This was so because while to some people, these might seem stupid and the answers might be considered bizzare, as in really how can you believe and accept answers to a stupid quiz that was set by a random person that does not even know who you are and what you are about? I actually get answers that are close to the truth or that I can relate with to some certain extent. But not today and not this quiz. The question- What makes you, you? My answer- confidence. Now while this might not seem bad and could actually be considered a good thing, I hated it.

Why? BECAUSE I have the lowest self esteem anybody could imagine. My mother is frustrated with me, my friends ignore me when I complain about myself, heck even my acquaintances know this about me. But then this quiz that knows nothing about me tells me that not only do I have confidence, it is this confidence that makes me, me. It is this confidence that sets me apart from others. Wow. Now normally, you would expect me to laugh at this and just ignore it but I actually decided to accept it.

I accepted it because for the first time, this was something or someone telling me I had enough confidence in me. Other people who know me have tried to build my confidence but this one said I had it already. It gingered me and suddenly out of nowhere this previously non-existent confidence sprung up in me. Now it may die before tomorrow but at least now I know that I do have confidence in myself. It may not be the well known and universally accepted confidence but that is just it. It is a certain kind of conifdence that distinguishes me from others. The type that gives me the will to work on myself and stop to look at myself the way others might look at me. The type of confidence, unlike others, which allows me change some things I might not like in myself. Now while I might need more work, I do accept that I am special and different and people can actually like me. Now this is something I never believed before

To conclude, this little piece of advise... have confidence in yourself but take time out to see yourself in the light which others see you. Things just might be different from that angle.

xoxo.